CherishI can still taste you in my mouth even though it's been a week.I can still picture you walking towards the bed wearing only the skimpiest of underwear.I can still feel you against my skin as if we are still laying in the bath together.I can still picture the colour of your eyes as you stared at me from across the couches.I love that you bit my neck so hard it took a week and a million excuses to go away.I love that you let me yank on your jeans and underwear in the supermarket to get a glimpse.I love that you bring out my naughty side.I love that you want to look after my hair and cherish the lock of it you took.
A heart in the mirror fogI would draw you a heart in the mirror fog,It would quickly fade but re-appear every time you showered.We'd toast marshmallows on the gas stove because as city people that's as close as we'd get to camping.Or we'd sleep on your fire escape imaging what the stars would look like if the buildings weren't in the road and the 7/11 sigh would stop flashing.Imaging what it would be like to do our own washing without $10 in $1 coins and a weird guy trying to see what colour underwear you wore.We'd dream of days where we could have pens that didn't come from the local bank and didn't have chains around them still.Where a fire would actually kick out heat and not have to be started every 25 minutes after the DVD stopped.Where we would have known our neighbors, even had a gate in the back fence so we could share the pool they got for Christmas, or play practical jokes. But instead it's a guy named Steve, who smokes something that doesn't smell like what my dad use to smoke and has a on
Pain isn't always miseryYour voice pulls me backeven when I'm at the endI feel like there's nothing I can't doBut your eyes cause my knees to bendWhen I feel like I should move forwardI find my heart on a spearNothing in me left to fight backBut you break throughYour smile makes me long for realityFighting against insanityWhen I long to find my way into the darknessI find my heart breaking downBut there you singA soft voice calling me back from the brinkMore than I deserveYour whispers like dreamsSpiral into my mindA hushed sort of lullaby that saysThere will be more tomorrowsBut without the sadnessThat I have come to rely onYou whisper a calm into my soulOne that I never dreamed possibleI wished that I could find an escapeBut every route has been blockedBy those eyesthose beautiful eyesThat soft voiceA voice that whispers into my heartwith an assuranceIt says "I care, I will keep you safe"even if I wish that you would disappearYou know that I don't mean it.Deep down I see the
easy fixI am so sad right now.I have suffered from depression off and on for years now without wanting to really admit it.I have taken the knocks from broken love, betrayal, smashed friendships, all with the casual good natured smile I am known for.I work along at work, having a joke, doing my thing.Trying to photograph people that are clearly not inspiring.Having them make excuses about why they can't come to work with me, not responding to my notes.And it has all come to a head, tonight I can't sleep, I have organised some time off work in a couple of weeks because I feel like I am going to explode and take someone out with me.I don't know what I need to make me happy again, maybe love, maybe someone to actually inspire me back into my art, a faster car, louder music, I don't know, but I fear outside things won't effect it because what the problem is is actually inside me, and that's never an easy fix.
hey you...why don't you ever look me in the eye?why? because your eyes remind me of something i never wanted to do.
and this part was for her.i saw myself through your eyes todayso i cut my stomach open and pulled you out. you were dripping in blood and bodyyou were insipid and simperingand sad, mostly sad, always sad. i told you i was sorry but i couldnt love mebecause then what would you do,and you said that was okay becauseyou didnt know what you would do either. so i kissed you and it was warmand wet because we smiledand because at least one of us was crying. i told you i would have to write a poemabout this and keep it as close to fact as i could,and you said okay, you wanted toremember it as well.i forgot to tell you i loved you then. i could tell you now but im scaredyou couldnt forgive me for forgetting. i tell you a hundred times a daythat you mean more to methan a rabbit to a fox, water to dry ground.i tell youbut i still didnt tell you when i had to. i could kiss you but i couldnt kiss youat the right time,
jumping off a cliff.last night, i lay in bed,soaking in the comfort and the darkness of my room..within the silence, i heard:the ticking of my clock, counting my life away, one second at a time.the pounding of rain, washing my sins down the tear-stained streets.the gentle call of nature, fighting my fears with its protective nature.with my ears and eyes wide open,i realized how short my life is.i've finally figured it out.i'm not meant to live to please others,to make them proud, or to cause the disappointment in their eyes.i'm meant to live, for life, for me.i found that i am not to cry for my own pain, sorrow, or hurt,but to rather cry for happiness and shed tears of joy.i have felt that i must listen to the cries of others,and let their voices be heard through my body, my actions, my thoughts,as a vessel of their anguish.i live neither to regret nor to look back,as forward motion is survival,the only way to not drown in the chaos,the guilt, the "i'm so sorry"s and "i wish i c
ManicShe breathes in
She breathes outQuick and shallow
remind me how to breathe properly before I'm gone
She wakes up and lays downThe sun is shining and the sky is blue
Still, I can't bring myself to move
Just let me rest in pieces
She can hardly speak and so she screamsNo one is listening
No one can hear me unless I yell to them
A whisper to a scream
You should not give again because I take so oftenYou give me nothing but love
I selfishly continue to take
Nothing you say will wash it away You're standing in the pouring rainI say it won't happen again I'm manic, manic
My mind is forever warped
Everything becomes twisted
All you can do is stand and watch as I fall apart and continue to feed you lies
There is a chemical in my brain It's pouring sunshine and rageI can never know what to expect I'm manic, manicI can change with the snap of a f
AcheI'm chasing shadows.Weaving words togetheralong the silk threadsbetween villain ribsand an ice queen heart.Vacant, disorientedI feel dizzy fromtornado fingers clawing(penetrating)my empty eyes,[ pulsing through the grooves of old flesh wounds. ]
the truth of it all is.it's really not that hard to see,i mean nothing to you, so youshould mean nothing to me.
Depression hurtsBroken, shattered, torn into piecesCaught in a world where everyday life ceasesDepression, cutting, bleeding my heartEverything I loved is all falling apartEveryday life feels more like a choreThere's not a whole lot I can do anymoreI don't expect you to understand the painalthough, if you did, I wouldn't have to explainOne cannot say "no pain no gain"For emotional pain is hard to maintainIt cuts deeper than the deepest cutImagine a wound that would never shutYou bleed and bleed but you put on a smilethinking if you do, the pain would go away for a whileBut at night is when it all comes backeverything you tried hard for, all falls off trackYou often wonder if life is worth livingwhen people around you can be so unforgivingand no matter how much you try to stop cryinginside, emotionally, you feel like your dyingBefore you even think or say "stop being so depressed"We wish we could and it's causing us more stressIt doesn't go away with a mere hug or a kissDo you re