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I dont really understand love by `scottjamesprebble:iconscottjamesprebble:

Categories Photography > People & Portraits > Self-Portraits

©2009 `scottjamesprebble
:iconscottjamesprebble:

Artist's Comments

I don’t really understand love. by Scott James Prebble


I don’t really understand love.

Even though I do think I have been ‘In Love’ a couple times throughout my life.

I’ve met and spent time with some really amazing people.

Some of who are still in my life now, they still email me to check on me because I need it.

And I’ve met some people who I thought were lovely and spent a lot of time with who turned out to be the most awful people inside, one particular one comes to mind, who continues to bad mouth me for no reason, I guess you really don’t know the real person in side people.

It seems like I have gone from one relationship to the next over the past few years.

8 years, 1 year, 1 year, 2 years, 1 year.

Learning a bit from each, trying to improve myself so the same mistakes don’t happen again and again.

And I do think I have learnt from the past, I hope I have.

I remember seeing three people at once at one stage, and knowing it wasn’t right.

I guess it came from never being noticed much as a kid, so when I started getting noticed as an adult it was hard to say no.

Of course it ended badly, there is no surprise there and I lost what I consider some really good friends out of it, but it’s the ones that stick with you, by your side even through your mistakes that you hold dear til the end, they are the one’s that you race in the nursing home in wheelchairs, they stay with you throughout your life.

I don’t claim to be normal, I couldn’t create what I create if I was.

I know that the way that I have created in the past has ended badly, I have over the past few years created with the person I love, on a daily basis, bouncing ideas off each other, collaborating, I always felt that it got me deeper into the work, and I still feel this, when I work with someone I have never met before it is just not the same, it doesn’t have the depth of the work I have created with lovers, and that causes a problem, because I have done it, and loved it, and am so very proud of the work this kind of relationship brings out, but when something goes wrong, sour, then you left with images that don’t quite have the spark anymore because the love that created them isn’t there anymore, and people often feel different about the work after the relationship is over, so that is why a lot of my earlier work is no longer in my gallery because of changed minds of previous lovers.

It causes my brain to explode.

Because I want to bring that depth back into my work, it is truly how I work and one of the only time I am really completely satisfied with my own images. But I can’t fall in love again, I don’t want to at this point in my life, I feel I need time out, to work out what went wrong with the last relationship, hell with the last 4 relationships would be good too.

So I sit here, on this chair, with my dog, and my house wondering what is next for me in this world, whether photography will play a part of it, whether I will ever let myself fall in love again, whether I will ever forget the feeling of it going bad, of someone telling you that you just aren’t right for them, actually I don’t think I’ll ever quite get over that, no-one can really, but I wonder what the next step in this world is for me.








© 2009 Scott James Prebble. Unauthorized use prohibited.
No permission to manipulate/reference this image will be given.
Any money made from print sales goes straight back into the art.
All models are 18+ disrespect one and you WILL be banned

Comments


love 0 0 joy 1 1 wow 1 1 mad 0 0 sad 0 0 fear 0 0 neutral 0 0
:icondougfdoug:
*dougfdoug Apr 9, 2009, 3:23:10 PM
I love you great mate.
:iconmaggotmaster:
~maggotmaster Apr 9, 2009, 3:26:45 PM
man, hope you'll get better! :beer:

--
______________________________ ____________________
I hate my flesh. It's dimension poisoned my soul with doubt. It made me question the essence of... the 'I'
:iconspenc3rr:
~Spenc3rr Apr 9, 2009, 3:27:55 PM
A very interesting glimpse into your life and work.

--
Stop by my page, look at some photographs. (What's the worst that can happen?)
:iconbellabrooke:
=bellabrooke Apr 9, 2009, 3:34:55 PM
thank you for sharing with us Scott. :heart:

--
Modeling Gallery --> [link]
Art Gallery --> [link]
:hug: :blowkiss:
:iconeltonio:
~ElTonio Apr 9, 2009, 4:24:38 PM
Who does understand love?
Life is full of surprises... good and bad.
Hang in ther mate.

--
:peace: :heart: :horns:
:iconthatiam:
=thatIam Apr 9, 2009, 4:34:19 PM
hmmmm ... full exposure ... though i seem to have known all this already. trusting in yourself, as i'm sure i've preached before ... that's the key. you are a beautiful person scott, inside and out. as far as wondering goes: it will, you will, you won't - but you'll learn to let it go.
I read a wonderful line recently: "if you need a miracle in your life - be the miracle" ...
and i'll hold you to the wheelchair challenge honey :D
much love :heart:
:iconpelicanh:
`Pelicanh Apr 9, 2009, 4:39:56 PM
If ya figure it out, you can bottle it and make a shit load of money, Dude!!
Good shot!

--
For once you have tasted flight, you will always walk the earth with your eyes turned skyward, for there you have been and there you long to return.
Leonardo DaVinci
[link]
[link]
[link]
:icondarthmarlan:
=darthmarlan Apr 9, 2009, 5:39:45 PM
Know what you are on about there Scott :nod:

I've been leading the quiet life for a while now and it has eased my mind a bit :)
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