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MacHere’s who I am,
I’m older than you think I am, but rarely act it.
I love the stone temple pilots.
I have broken a couple of hearts and hate that fact.
I live in a house by myself, that is almost always filled with noise.
I walk to work most days.
I love my dog, and my mum.
I use a Mac Computer and won’t ever go back to Windows.
I am getting my life back together, but it always feels like that.
I do have a broken heart, and won’t look at another until it’s healed.
I love The Cult, and Train, and AC/DC.
My car is half the age of my house which is going on 100 years old.
I can’t imagine cutting my hair, even when it’s fully grey.
My camera is an extension of me, and often says things I can’t say.
So is my crappy writing, if you want to really know me, read it, because IT IS ME.
I can’t stand carpet, I have to have floorboards.
I have many fears, snakes, ending up alone, public speaking, social situations.
I can’t stand clutter,
That MomentI want that little moment of recognition,
The moment when you are talking, someone is listening, and you connect, you share the same thought.
You share a small smile, it's just for a second, but for that second, everything, everything makes sense.
UntitledI wish I had a home town,
Somewhere I grew up.
I wish I had childhood friends.
I want an unrequited love, someone I've maybe known for my whole life.
I want a pact with someone to be married to if we aren't by 40.
I want that crush, that crush that keeps you warm at night.
I want a young girl to look up to me like Marty did to Willie in 'Beautiful Girls'.
Rizzo PizzaWe can hide under the covers,
Let the day waste away.
I want candles, and ice cold cola, a never ending Rizzo's Pizza, in family sized.
I want the taste of you on my lips.
I want my face painted as a clown, so people on the outside can see what's inside.
I like a quiet life, a life where I don't have to talk to 100 people a day, I don't have that life,
I'm not anonymous like I use to be, and I'm not sure how I feel about that.
I love the feel of a 50 year old steering wheel between my fingers.
And seeing old loves at the op shop, and hiding behind clothes not quite sure what to say when I've been inside you,
'Hi!' would have been fine I guess.
Cherry Ripe, just Cherry Ripe.
A bean bag, on your floor, your fingers playing with my hair as I fall asleep.
My windows are always open, inviting the sounds of the city in, people passing, cars going home.
I'm a control freak, but I like being out of control, I'm competitive but I hate being competitive.
I can't handle love again, so I lock myse
The TruthsNo matter how much you practice you just can't lie to yourself in the mirror,
And though we may try so damn hard there's no way of stopping ourselves from fading away.
And though I lie to myself, I know I'm just not that handsome and it doesn't bother me,
But I promise if you take the time to stare into my eyes I'll always give you the world.
I've ben afraid of women, hell I've tripped up whilst walking backwards, staring,
I've stood there, with my heart in my throat, saying 'That was the one'.
Baby I've turned down women that did nothing much for me, have I,
But like a child I stand back waiting for you to talk to me.
Maybe I'm just stupid, but I do try and learn from my mistakes,
Try and become wiser each year, following my parents lead, always.
I've been close to hell, hell I've driven myself so mad I thought I'd explode,
I've taken it to the edge thinking I wouldn't live to share the story, but I did.
I've been so scared, with a bottle of whiskey in my hand, that I shake madly,
AfterwardsI want you to come over, we'll watch a movie, make out a little and then you'll go back home,
I don't want you here for hours, I don't want you to stay the night, I like to sleep alone.
I don't want to make you breakfast, discuss what we'll do with our day, over jam and toast,
I just want to kiss your face for a while, play with your tongue, maybe squeeze your boobs.
I'm not looking for love, I can't handle love, my heart is too broken for that,
So I'm not capable of love, lust maybe, smalltalk rarely, but not fucking love.
So can't we just watch a movie, kiss in the boring parts, and up against your bonnet when you leave in the cold air,
And you ask nothing more of me, not to meet your parents, lunch in the park, hang with your boring friends.
I just want to nibble on your bottom lip, and leave a love bite on your neck the perfect size of my mouth,
We'll watch what I want, and have it as loud as I'd like, with the fan on, and window open.
We won't hold hands at the market, go op shopp
100 Reasons to Stay AliveCute animals that make you go, "Kawaii!"The part of the charger you put your foot on while you're derping on the laptop.Pencils so sharp you can possibly murder an undesirable specimen. (I don't suggest that, but you can.)Clear, blue skies.Putting on the headphones after a long day.Realizing you don't have any homework.The feeling of spring after winter."EMERGENCY MESSAGE: Due to extreme weather conditions, all school activities and administrative offices have been closed for today."Dry towels.Belting out your favorite song in the shower.Cute guys.Maybe cute girls.Or maybe both. I don't know your preferences.The sense of accomplishment.Looking in the mirror and trying out your "sexy" pose.Going on DeviantArt to find your messages chock-full of activity notifications.When you're in a radically good mood so you don't have a care in the world.Hilarious videos.Seeing a picture of something that doesn't usually have a face having a face.When your crush smiles at you.Being weird with your BF
Markiplier - Draw My Life.Markiplier Draw My Life
“Hello Everybody! Markiplier here and thank you guys so much for being with me through a 1000 videos! It’s hard to even imagine how we’ve gotten from this point, and I REALLY wanted to do something special for the 1000 subscriber milestone, er, not a 1000 subscriber- 1000 VIDEO milestone, and, I think this video is really gonna explain to you guys how I got from point A to point B, and how YOU guys have helped change my life because, um, these things are really important to me because, they tell how I became the person that I am, and I really do appreciate you guys for sticking with me. So, HERE WE GO!!!”
“I was born on an island in the middle of the Pacific Ocean called O’ahu, which is the third largest island of Hawaii, and home to the city of Honolulu where I was born on a military base. My dad was a career army man, and he had been in the army 23 years before he retired, and appar
Maybe This Is My Last GoodbyeI just have something to say and that is that I can not but
I have tried to get ahead for myself
But I can not
Every time I feel most miserable
Whenever I feel like not worth it to go ahead
I've tried everything
But they just look at me as a useless, stupid good for nothing like a monster
So to go ahead if, just they tell me my faults in the face
They say I have to open my wings and fly towards my destination where I belong
I try to fly, but my wings are broken
And without wings I can not fly to my destination, and if I not go to my destination I have nothing
And if I have nothing to go ahead
Maybe my destiny is in heaven, where there is no evil, sadness or mental illness
Today My Hands Reek of Doctor Office SoapBecause I frantically washed my hands in the back room
Because I’m one anxious little fuck when it comes to needles and
Crying children in the hallways and rooms where the walls are paper thin
Because I nearly pass out when needles are stuck into my arm several times
Because no one can ever find a goddamned vein the first time
Trying to calm myself as the doctor comes back in and the first words out of my mouth are
“So what are some good anxiety medications these days?”
a letter to her My darling sunshine,
I know that we're about 1000 miles apart, but my heart feels tied to yours and I can't seem to let you go. My heart tells me that you're my soul mate, that you're my other half, that you're supposed to be loved by me and I by you. Age is just a number. I know that. In your Valentine's Day card, you told me to believe in us, to believe that one day we'll be together forever. I can't wait until that day!
Recently, you suggested we take a break because our distance is too big for you... I told you that'd be okay, I told you that I could wait for 4 more years (seeing as that's how many years of school I have left). You still call me your lovely pet names for me: Babe, darling, deary, and my favorite - your shooting star. You still tell me that you love me, and I tell you that I love you more. I do believe in us, I do believe that some day soon, we'll be together forever.
You, my dear, are my best friend... And I'm yours, you told me so yourself. I won't let you g
I'll never be your daughterDad, oh why... Why can't you...
Why can't you accept who I am?
Why can't you accept how I am?
I have never seen this world,
I don't know the things you do.
I know that, and I know youre much wiser.
Wiser than me.
But is that a reason?
A reason for that expression?
The one on your face,
telling me that you think Im dumb.
Dumb and idiotic and worth nothing.
Are you really like that?
Is success the only thing that matters?
Intelligence and smart thinking?
Does someone not perfect not fit into your world?
Do you really think this...
Do you really think I'm not perfect enough?
But why do you do it then?
Why do you say you love me?
The way I am.
You said you loved me,
but to be honest, dad, I can't believe you.
Do you really?
How can you love me?
Why do you look so disappointed?
I can't understand your point.
When we argue you say it's me.
It's all my fault.
Is it really?
Do you really think it's me?
Do you mean it when you say things...
Things like "You should get a psychatrist!"
How can yo
the weight of living pt. cdlxxit's a tangle of voices in the midst of rainy 1.53am breakdown
right now i want to cut myself
it feels like an ideal solution
i know it is not
maybe i should throw out my blades
i don't know
i don't know
i do know
i don't want to
the key phrase is just in case
you don't understand
you don't care
i wish .he cared
i also wish he wasn't fucking a fourteen year old harry potter freak with nicer eyes than me
i also wish he didn't spend his lunch times locked away in the drama room with a 52 year old paedophile with marriage problems
i wish i'd never cut myself because it's all these scars that will never fade and they remind me every day of how much i fucked everything up and how much i will never be okay what am i even saying
he reminds me of a sadness i never truly covered up and never truly understood
he reminds me of the gir
La Voce Toaif there is a hardness in the heart
it must be broken
if there are words inside untold
they must be spoken
if there is a candle burning at the shrine
it must burn down,
until the very last drop of wax is spent
this hope will have no ground
wherever i turn
wherever i spin
these are the words
of the dance we're in
if there is sadness welling at the throat
the tears must run
as raindrops fill the ocean
it must be released and sung
if there are voices silenced in the darkness
louder they'll shout
the crowds will take the streets
their anger must be let out
wherever i turn
wherever i spin
and these are the words
of the times we're in
la voce toa nu l'hai timire
la voca toa falla sentire
la voce toa nu l'hai timire
la voca toa famme sentire
My Father's Last Poem The Night Before He DiedMy Father's Last Poem
My mother held my sobbing father one night
He begged her not to put him into a nursing home.
He wanted to die in the home he built himself for her.
It's the least she could have done.
He had been taken via ambulance without him even knowing where they were taking him. He must have been so frightened, this kindest man on the face of the earth.
Images burn, I swear they burn starting in the brain,
from there going wild into the deepest darkest part of your soul.
I see my father in the nursing home making a gallant attempt to spoon the liquid broth
they called soup into his mouth.
Off to the side is a mushy bowl of fruit gone soft.
His milk looks curdled, it can't taste good.
But my father never complains, so paints on his face the fake of a smile
He thinks we don't sense his pain so we can't feel it, he was wrong about both.
Life with him has always been that way, I remember no other.
After Daddy passed I found my mother crying.
My son had stayed until the amb
$2 bag of candyYou can be here for just one second,
Go flush for a moment when you look into my eyes.
Your heart can get stolen for $2 bag of candy,
And you pants can come down for just one of my smiles.
Endless roads that take us nowhere,
There is nowhere we'd rather be.
Fairy lights on the dashboard of my car,
And promises of the things we'll do on the backseat.
The Parlour IncidentOne day in July, I believe it was, I found myself sitting with several acquaintances in Christopher's parlour. It was one of those deliciously lazy afternoons which only the summer in her full glory can bring. The room had a wan, listless light to it, relaxing the other guests and myself as we languidly chatted over tea and crumpets. The air was also sluggishly heavy, dulling the senses to a slowly-blended calm engendered by the heat of St. Othniel's southerly climate.
At length, after much stimulating conversation, Christopher stood, producing a book of sheet music.
"What do you all say to a bit of music?" he asked.
"Certainly," I answered.
"Oh yes, please do darling!" Tabitha exclaimed, "he's quite the maestro."
Christopher laughed, shaking his head.
"Now, now love, I'd not go that far."
He strode over to the piano as the other guests urged him on. Ida entered the room bearing a merrily steaming teapot and more crumpets.
"More tea sirs?" she inquired, shooting sideways glances at her
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Lilyas has dedicated herself to making our community a brighter place with her vibrant artwork and infectious enthusiasm for interacting with others in our community. It has certainly paid off, as many deviants flock to her page on a daily basis to let her know how much of an inspiration she is. We absolutely agree, and couldn't let all that hard work go without recognition, so it's with great pride that we bestow the Deviousness Award for March 2014, to ... Read More